Chapter 3.1 – Screening Donors

The next day, Salem introduced Caroline to Rose. The two got along swimmingly. A few weeks later, their wedding was thrown. Salem curled her hair and both of the women wore matching white, classical wedding gowns. So when all of the guests had arrived to the party, the two women exchanged their wedding vows and rings, and let a kiss seal the deal.

At the wedding, Salem and Caroline got a head start on screening potential sperm donors for a child. They had no reason to wait to have a child, so they had invited some hot male men to the party. But none of them stood out and each man had more negative elements to themselves than positives:

1. The man with the cornrows had taken steroids in order to make it  in sports and he already had three children with his wife. They were all mentally retarded.
2. The man with the horrific female bob/plumber haircut, autism ran in his family as well as premature babies, if that is even possible. At least that’s what he told Caroline.
3. The man with the red hair did tons of drugs and did inhalants every day as a teenager.
4. The final man, the man with the golden eyes, had an IQ of 98. Two of the main things that Caroline and Salem were looking for with a sperm donor were attractiveness and IQ. Clearly, he did not make the cut.

And at the end of the wedding, and unexpected guest showed up to share congratulations: a very old and wrinkly Ben. And as soon as Rose laid eyes on her ex-husband, her heart started to beat very fast because she was still very much so in love with him.

“Ben, what are you doing here?” Rose walked up to Ben.

“Oh, I just congratulated  Salem. I’m on my way out now, don’t worry.” Ben smiled weakly, starting to walk away.

“Oh, no no no, you don’t have to leave,” Rose said quickly. “So how’ve you been?”

“Oh, I’ve got my own mansion on the outside of town.” Said Ben.

“That’s cool.” Rose said simply, nodding her head like a lovestruck, teenage girl.

Ben smiled. Rose had stopped nodding, and Ben scratched his ear. That’s when Rose saw the gold band on his ring finger and her heart sunk. The wedding ring he’d had when they were together was silver. Ben noticed the Rose had seen the ring and spoke up,

“Yes, I got remarried. To Maeve Otis. She’s from Riverview.” Ben said slowly.  Awkward… he thought. Rose frowned internally and tried to put on a believable fake smile externally. But her body spoke otherwise because her red, emperor of evil haze started to show.

“Well, it’s been nice chatting.” Rose stuttered before walking away into the house, hunched over and wiping off the salty tears that were rolling down her wrinkly cheeks.

And after that, the wedding was over.

It was time for more screening. Bael even helped out on occasion, even though she no longer talked to Rose and very rarely to Salem after the announcement that she was not heiress.

Salem, Caroline and Bael each found many potential donors on a ton of sperm donor websites. Three donors stood out from all the rest, though. The first was Marvin Cutrone: His picture was drop dead gorgous: Tall, dark, muscular and handsome.

But in real life, not only was he ridiculously overweight, but his hair was gray and thinning. And according to his posted birth certificate, this man was only 30. Needless to say, they didn’t even consider him and they didn’t use that company’s site/service ever again.

There was another guy who was completely hot, but he was undeniably bizarre with his perverted jokes and anger management issues. They didn’t want to take the chance of having their child inherit that, so he was a no.

After those two men, it was back to the records and the books and the phone. Caroline and Salem’s hope of finding their prefect donor was at an all time low. Since now Bael, Caroline and Salem all had careers, their time to look for donors had been reduced. Especially since they were all working longer hours since they got promotions every day.

Eventually, it came time for Meena’s birthday. She was a good mix of both her parents as a teenager. Though, she did look more like her mother now because she got her hair dyed a more copper color instead of the fugly poop green/brown color it had been previously.

Finally, after months and months of searching, Salem and Caroline finally found their sperm donor. His name was Anthony Crawford.

He was gay and his boyfriend wanted the sperm to be used already so the two didn’t have to worry about it anymore. His IQ was 130 and he was definitely attractive. He had also never done drugs and there were no diseases that ran in his family.

Salem and Caroline had the impregnation procedure performed by expert hands at the hospital later that night.

It was going to take a few weeks to see if the procedure worked, but that was why they kept a little bit of the leftover sperm – just in case.

While everyone was waiting anxiously to see if the procedure worked, Rose started to work on a portrait of Salem. It took a few tried to get a good one, but it all worked out in the end. The portrait was of Salem standing in front of a bunch of flowers.

A few days later, the results did not come in, but it was time for Damian’s birthday. He’d always kind of taken a back seat in family life, spending most of his time in his room, but for his eighteenth birthday, a huge party was thrown after school for him to age up happily.

As soon as he had had his makeover, Damian realized that since he had developed the adventurous trait, he wanted to head to China for a while for his job. He wanted to be a forensic specialist and figured that it would help him solve crimes if he was well rounded in the world. So he head off.

Author’s Notes:

1. I got my game working again :D